the twinkle in my eye

yesterday was one of the most emotional days of my life. i spent the long  hours waiting for our state pollies to recognise that special k is the legal parent of the twinkle. of course, it wasn’t just about us, but it felt so incredibly personal that every “stolen generation” and “social engineering” comment that i heard from the other side of the room made me want to leap over the balcony and stab someone in the eye.

after a long, boring and confusing afternoon (and much dithering by me about whether or not to ditch my work christmas dinner) the law was finally passed by the upper house by the narrowest of margins – thanks to a brave and principled non-conservative conservative. as they counted and re-counted the vote and we tried to count heads from where we were sitting, i felt sick with anxiety. and then one of our local members and strong ally gave us a bit of a wink and i started to believe that change was about to happen and then they told us the vote was 20-18 in our favour and the 50-or-so people in the gallery burst into a short cheer before breaking down in tears. i sat there sobbing and it felt like such a long moment as i looked around at all the women crying around me and i wished my special k could be there, but ironically she was busy at home being a responsible (but up to that point not legal) parent looking after her daughter.

the mood outside in the room with the dangerous queen victoria statue was overwhelmingly emotional. there was hugging and more tears (mostly mine – i had a lot of trouble composing myself) and phone calls and photos and clapping and such relief. many a mum was heard to say to a small child, “sometimes grown ups cry when we’re happy!”

i hung around the extra 2.5 hours to hear the lower house agree to the final amendments. this was a bit of an anti-climax. there were some long drawn-out offensive speeches where the opposition were basically just wasting everyone’s time, then finally a quick vote where everyone said “aye” – no need for the ringing of the bells and a division. we sort of missed the moment where we were supposed to cheer and we were almost asleep (it was after 11pm) but it was over, it was official. it was surreal.

this morning i felt hungover – exactly like the days when i would party all night on a thursday and not sleep and eat maccas for breaky at my desk.

so, after what feels like years of campaigning, we have achieved within the last few weeks:

• equal parenting responsibilities and rights for non-bio mums
• access to fertility treatment
• a state relationship register
• equality in federal law for tax, welfare and medicare
• some other stuff

adoption and marriage are practically all we are denied now. what a long way we’ve come!